Dungeons and Dragons: 190 ideas for Sidʒil locations

I'd like to share some of my notes and ideas for the city of doors and my take on it. I've never gotten to playing it but I know how it is seeking inspiration for your D&D campaign, so I thought I could share this with some of those prospecting Dungeon Masters out there. I've revised my own version of the factions of the city, some of the names, but it's no big labour reverting back to the originals. Not all of them are original, some are inspired by the books and some by the video game. This here is just a part of my homebrew reading of D&D. I happen to hold uncomfortably strong opinions on some changes to the setting. I hope you find something inspiring in this tangled mess of writing. DESCRIPTION OF THE CITY The place is a model for multiplanar urban planning. The city twain planes. Taurus spinning about a great spire of the Outlands... City of iron spikes, stone gargoyles and spires. Town houses overgrown with nasty weed known as razorvine an abyssal invader. The city, all urban, squalid and unsanitary. Planar travel spells do not work within the City of Doors, you can watch the city with magic but you cannot enter or leave it by means other than the gates. Lit by a waxing and waning foggy incandescent air. With peak and antipeak. City taverns are themed around certain clientèle. With primes visiting or settling in and Planars as the permanent citizens of the city. The prices here are out of this world however... The idea is, the great inter-planar city gets detached from the planes, it suffers stagnation and the odd mistress of this land faces riot and religious cults rising the wake of the great disconnect caused by the killing of the Forgotten God, you'd be helping in the restoration of the city proper. Citizenry- Townsman citizen of Sidʒil. Dwelling in an iron spiked townhouse, bigger inside than outside, overgrown with razorvine and swarmed with grey-green doves. Vest on, white linen shirt, brown pants and clumsy shoes, tankard in one hand and muttons on his fat little stout face. Fellow talking with the city kant and having opinions about things. He considers real world to be provincial, speaking loudly in the patois of the planes. Admiring the hulking Lady of Pain as she floas through the city square. "Oi, I hate them nasty clueless prime berks. I'm a born and raised cager aright, real basher like. And I tell you another thing!" He yells drunkenly to his drinking buddies around the table in the Burning Man tavern. A table over a devil and an angel are having a debate over which archfiend would win in a mano a mano combat. It's a funny faux pas to use the "wrong" names of planes by the Sidʒil cagers. "I don't know, I just can't stand reality, the mountains of the outer planes are more mountainous, the air fresher, the food tastier, the sand burns you tingly like and the colours pop out more! If you're content with living in the grimy banal reality, there's something seriously wrong with you..." But when it comes to planar citizens of Sidʒil humans and half-elves dominate. "Githzerai or Githyanki, what's the difference! They're all the same to me!" Says the fat burgher snipping his razorvine gardeners. The poor fools can find themselves pulled out from under their comfy blanket of their bed and the side of their sleeping nagging wife by a summon extraplanar spell. Amongst a party of warriors fighting a bazraag swarm in deep grasslands just to be used as a distraction and a chewing toy. They live a truly high fantasy existence. The Clueless Tourists- Mouth agape, walking through the streets in adventuring gear, looking up a lot. Getting ripped off by touts or led in groups by the city guides with a big sign on a long pole as they explain all the details of the city with a bored expression and affectionless voice. The city relies on litters for travel, in which characters are carried, there are up to two seats in one such litter, carried by four fellows. These do not go to the Hive. Local policing force is rather too eager. They can hold you up for questioning, but it's unlikely if you're followed by a factotum. Touts; Private local destitute can be hired out to show the planewalkers their way about the city, taste the local cuisine as well as familiarise themselves with the spoken and unspoken rules of the city. Just the shaggy plain clothes local speaking with thick cant, trying to squeeze as much gold out of the planewalkers as they may. Factotums; Guides with a proper outfit, a funny hat, board over their chest an a big pole saying "city tour". Spawned from each of the city factions. They have their own monotone way of speaking about the city, they've described it plenty of times, they hold much lore about the city but they skimp out on the shadier stuff. You could also get a courier to run messages for you, or light boy urchins to carry light for you at night, they also act as guides at night, the city has no street lights at all, they carry continual light wands about them. The newly arrived rustics who do not know much about the universal laws or the city politics. With a guffaw naive expression little bothered by interdimentional philosophy. Bald men with huge axes and daft glares and maidens with high charisma and overly tight leather armour gawking at the architecture and the skyline of the city. These either become ambivalent to the inner city struggles and join the Free League, grow angry and restless with the foolish level of dialogue and join the Revolutionary League or end up picking a side in the daft philosophical debates with people babbling something about solipsism. Bashers and Cutters- The club wielding philosopher kings. Getting to plunder the place of their souls' eternal rest. Deliberating as they do. Outsmarting gods and tricking archfiends. Good Sidʒil is a safe haven... Races- Locals are varied not only by their planar race but also otherworldly form. Your neighbours can be one of the following. Primes- It's nice to sometimes talk to a creature that eats food and defecates, like yourself, all these embodied abstract manifestations of notions can give you a headache indeed. Planars- Those who dwell outside of the Real World. Not limited to bariaur, angels and demons, humans, other mortals and elves born in The City of Doors also count. Those who can be banished with banishing or summoned with summoning spells, those without a silver cord. Proxies- Planars acting as the heralds and representatives of divinities and archfiends. Powers- Gods and archfiends not allowed into the city. But they oft send their proxies to the City of Doors to bash some blasphemous Prometheus or Sisyphus type. They really don't like when folks mess with them and get away with it. Bariaur- Daft, ram horned centaur looking creatures. With females looking like merges of women and ewes. They hold a racial hatred against giants. They are notoriously vegetarian and see in infravision. The males are strong but stupid, they can attack you with 1d8 damage + STR bonus or charge 30 feet and hit you for 3d8. They must however roll a save for DEX or they suffer the same amount of damage. A very funny idea, daft Bariaur ramming you just to get its neck snapped. Those rammed if medium or smaller must save DEX or fall. Angels- Winged, wearing white and sandals, glowing and all. With burning swords at their sides. And shining eyes. It's a funny image of a starving dreg as an angel gets accosted by him for some bread "Oi, sorry fella' I'm off duty here, not here to save souls, I'm on vacation right now" Devils- Horned bat winged critters. Evil at heart. Githyanki and Githzeray- A common enough sight in the city, mostly peddling off their goods pirated off of others in the Astral Sea. Or the others selling illegaly mined chaos matter. Githzerai are taller than humans, lankier and wear colourful clothes and no jewellery. They have a magical resistance. They also see in the dark. Tieflings- There are a plenty of them in the plain. Lots of sin going both ways. Dolores our lady of pain and her dabus slaves; Removing rabble and moving about. Rebuilding a city, breaking riots, prunning razorvine. With her putting people into mazes. Dabus smacking down the interdimentional vermin and flaying rioters. My notions is that she's a puppet created by the Dabus to make all people of the city obey them and fear them. An actual pretend character that is but a doll like hollow animated object. She rules from the throne of blades.  Maybe if a cult devoted to her emerges she'll be flung out of the plane for being a deity? Her own magic turning against her. Starting a cult of her could be a funny way to overthrow her. She doesn't like being pestered by the citizens, the squabbling folk being turned into a flayed heap of wounds or teleported into a maze in some pocket dimension, thus its better not to disturb her when she floats about. Dabus beating on rioters is a very funny image. The lady would be a free flowing character constantly present on the map. She moves on her own whim or disappears. In the city, your fame will be tracked along all the populations of the city, and which demographics or factions like you the most. These also include common citizens. They call her "Dolores" in the cant. So as to not say her real name and bring her attention. Edicts of the Lady of Pain; 1. Peace shall rule within the city. No one shall openly declare unrest nor war against another. Unrest will be punished with flaying and death. 2. None shall worship the lady of pain, under the pain of flaying and death. 3. Divinities and archfiends are barred from the city. Adventuring in the City; The first party to restore Sidʒil to Material Plane are hailed as heroes in the city and gain notoriety. From now on the players can create characters in Sidʒil, as well as are allowed to create extraplanar characters. Parties starting as adventurers within the city itself are supposed to chase cranium rats in the back allies and get to know extra-planar beings over a tankard of foaming ale for experience. 1st to 3rd level. The second step is setting out into the Outlands to do ruckus there. 4th and 7th level. Then they're to set out into the various planes and slowly get pulled into the faction politics as actual players and not mere ale dazzled pawns chasing rats in the back alleys 8th to 10th After that and up the party is ready to do what they wish. Creating a faction of their own if they so desire, trying to run the city themselves. FACTIONS OR PHILOSOPHERS/IDEOLOGISTS WITH CLUBS You could help one faction win the city even. Also I love the notion of the realization of the dogma, meaning, some ideologically round about explanation on how they break the rules. "Well it's not charity if I ask the beggar to pick the coin up for me is it?" Says the member of the oligarchy. The factions use each other to do things they wouldn't want to be doing. Could you see the meathead Harmonium Hardheads member tending to the city dead? No. You nee creeps like Dustmen whom like to touch corpses to run the city properly. Plato's republic but the philosophers are the problem. -The Ordnung; Interplanar authoritiarian enforcers. Clean streets and all. These would be a mixture of the Harmonium, Guvner and the Mercykillers, a party of Judge Dredd like characters. Wheel of Justice as a single faction. "We are the judges and the executioners!" -The Sidʒil Bureaucrats; Believing in rules and regulations, this faction runs the Kafka'esque bureaucracy of Sidʒil the city. They do not hold the power over the justice system but they fill out all the necessary forms and the like to make things move in the city. They oversee the council hall of the city too. Understanding rules is power they say. They decide on the enforcement of the laws working close with the above faction. -The Moribund; They stay as they were. Morbid death obsessed morgue workers whom use zombies to do the heavy lifting. And their military arm, which ideology dictates all purpose be is entropy. -The Atheists; The agnostics speaking out against the heathens of their age, considered most godless, persecuted like the early Christians. Annoying hecklers. "Don't worship the gods! They don't provide you with anything, those petty imposters! Building temples for beings unworthy of praise! Don't be enslaved like the masses! Open your eyes!" They call out the powers to be nothing but a ploy, their afterlife a myth and joke. The true god is the creator of the powers and the place from whence magic comes. They are akin to the early Christians in the Roman empire. Their point is to figure out the truth about the world and not worship the gods. They enjoy visiting the Astral plain to point out the carcasses of gods floating about as a proof of their facts and logic. They are the types to ask you questions like "Can Enor the radiant create a stone he wouldn't be able to lift?" and such garbage. "Okay, so if I were worshipped by as many people as Enor, wouldn't I also become a God? Exactly! If anyone can become a god, what's the point! That's too much power in one persons hands" -The Universal Temple of Solipsistic Empiricist Reincarnationists; Oriental vibe hippy colourfully dressed flower people cult. You get accosted by a blond elf with dreadlocks "Life is all about levelling up man! Join, smoke some pipe weed with us, by the way have you met our gorgeous half-elf initiates Rose and Melian?" As he leads you to a temple full of colourful banners. All experience leads to acquiring next levels in life, with every reincarnation you gain more and more experience of the world, gradually going further and further into the world. You are the word man. We are the word. Life is all about the experience. All religions should live in peace and harmony to level up better. Ascend the planes. "We're all one- Gods, Mortals and even Fiends come from the same source! Who knows man! Maybe next time you'll be a larva!" They violently ensure there's no religious tension in the city. Pacifists. -The Edgy violent nihilists of the Asylum; Pandemonium, dark, screaming and madness. They love this stuff. "Nothing has purpose or meaning, and if you say otherwise, and make me confused again, I'll hurt you!" -The Oligarchs; The local nobility and merchants class desiring to become balors. As well as the tax officials. -The Free League Opportunists; "Whatever man, I just want another drink." Bashers not partaking in the faction struggles "I'm a free thinker, I won't let you use me in some rat race game, hounded against another man. I drink with the death loving creeps, the enforcers and the tax collectors, I don't care. I don't discriminate. Don't tread on the Ouroboros man!" Screams a bariaur with an axe in his hand, spreading his arms wide and his chest forth. First faction of those who get to know the city a little, better than being clueless. -The Anarchists; This city is hell. Or wait no, we can't say that... urm... this place sucks. "Chaos, baby!" No organisational skill however. Preaching to the masses and pondering if they should use Limbo monsters to do chaos and cause riots in the city or not. IMPORTANT CHARACTERS -City Aedile; He ensures fun is had by the city rabble, so that no one rises up in boredom, or the devils start pinching passers by. So that to keep peace. PHILOSOPHICAL QUANDRIES Can demons attain salvation? If orcs can be made good and loyal creatures, can gnoll be turned into good citizens too?In the Derridian sense, once we bring the fringe into the centre a.i. the planes are brought to the heart of reality and are no more a distant possibility what truly is 'normal' then? And what is the centre? What does breaking of Foucaultian prisons of warped beings like Carceri do to the centre? Where does the fringe move? Do we eventually make phlogiston be brought to the centre? Or do we just abandon it due to the pragmatic materialistic delimitation? It all depends on where you stand, doesn't it? PLANES; What each plane offers to the city. Mechanus; Codifier of the rules of the world. You can get some world changing mechanical looking artefacts. Heaven (+Bitopia, Arcadia and Elysium); Resting grounds of good souls. Empyreum; Resting ground of the great souls. The Big Tree; Interdimentional weed inhabited by some lesser barbarian gods. Hell; Place of the eternal suffering of the bad souls. Hellish ores, souls, teeth, all sorts of nasty things. Can devils barter for souls with people over a mug of ale in the city? Boneclay vessels and weapons of the green Baator steel. Pits; Place of wallowing in boredom of the neutral and lesser souls. The Abyss; Pit of infinite evil, inhabited by the destroyers of life. Can demons do pacts in the city? Limbo; Floating chaos rocks smashing together, nexus of the Slaads. Githzeray meditaion pillars. Chaos matter and other stuff peddled by the Githzeray. Heavenly Forest; A forest close to heaven. Fields of Happy Hunting; All the "good-boys" and companion mounts follow their masters to this pleasant place of rest. Golden divine pears sold by the Bariaur. Carceri; Divine prison. Acheron; Battle place of eternity, where daft and clueless violent creatures clash and slaughter each other to then be summoned again with a single beck of their god's hand to charge into battle again. Its ground lithified legions and weapons of war. Here the Yugoloth towers stand. Gehenna; It's an abandoned realm of the planes, a pointless land of inhospitability that could be claimed by an emergent evil god. Inner Planes or the Elemental Planes; Having a marid or a magmin walking about the city is not a big deal.

WARDS; The Lady's Ward; The richest of all the wards and the most influential. Most of the city temples are found here. And its city watch is most active here. The ward is majestic, but cold and lifeless. You can't see the people living their lives as much as in other wards. 1402 - Obyrith Tentacle Pit; A peculiar hole full of tentacles. Where people are at times thrown as a form of execution. Demons tend to swarm about the place, especially the Obyrith. Some say its a pit to another plane.

1202 - Monastery of Assasins'; Here the great death cult masters its internal life-force to destroy other life-force in the great cosmic dance. Their banners flutter outside of the building, and they sometimes take hits in the city to establish peace. 1703 - Grand Oracle; In this elevated megaron you can demand the most expensive and yet the most acurate predictions, many of the townsfolk come here with their mundane matters. The oracles can attest to material plane, other planes and especially to the city itself, with different accuracy levels and all told in rhyme and clever word play. 1305 - Grand Opera House; Here the divine choirs sing to the rich of the city. 1203 - Gates to the Heavenly Forest; The place smells of sap and has a lumberjacks' tavern nearby. With a huge statue of an axe wielding giant. Plenty of Northlander humans of the prime material plane. Logs of the heavenly forest used for building in the city. 1104 - Greenhouse Complex; Fantastical greenhouse, steamy to a point of choking, hot and humid, damp. Overseen by elves and druids. Terrible dark plants are grown in some of the greenhouses. Lots of gardening equipment. Bags of soil. Pots and wheelbarrows. 1602 - Dragon's Lair; A huge sentient dragon lives here. The terrible creature has used its trove to fund itself a huge den in the city. 1503 - Casino of Fortunate Predestination; A tavern for the insanely wealthy nobility of the city as well as the well of merchants, a huge building built much from Upper plane materials, very very expensive. The rich bet on a huge Mechanus machinery stolen from it long ago by a band of heroic miscreants, they bet huge heaps of gold and spin the wheel of utter fate on some manner of thing, and said thing becomes fact retrospectively depending on what is to happen. Meaning, no one knows the answer to this matter of fate until you bet on it. In the bar there's a huge, talking radiant dragon head mounted on the wall, it entertains the guests with the tales of how it's to be a dragon; how he butchered parties of heroes eating their flesh, along with prime virgins sacrificed to him by the village peons, whose villages he'd burn anyway. Sleeping on piles of gold and such, until his death at the hands of the Sidʒil band of interpalanar heroes. Small modrons decide on what is being bet on, but players are allowed to stake something, it is only once a month that the machine is spun. 1304 - Statue of the Lady of Pain; Taken care of by dabus with great care, she's smaller than herself in real life. "Worshipping strictly forbidden" a sign reads. 1604 - Archmage Estates; A great host of powerful wizards dwells in these magically enhanced homesteads. Owning many businesses around the city. A walled off community of sorts. 1605- City Watch; Here the city militia faction has its head quarters. It's surrounded by a great square-parade grounds. 1103 - Prima Nocta Brothel; An embassy of the Succubus Queen, her servitor maidens and her incubi commit to illicit sin with the dwellers of Sidʒil tempting them with evil, and bringing about tieflings a plenty which run about the place as nasty little thieving urchins. An odd cult of pleasure seekers formed about the city, they say indescribable things take place in the back rooms of this palace. 1603 - City High Court; Here the Fraternity of Order passes out sentences. 1204 - Wyvern Cage; Here the wyvern's kept in a huge spiked tower shaped cage. A local attraction. It's big and snarling. Not really that impressive if you've seen a dragon. A clueless tourist trap. 1205 - The Prison; Here the drunk and disorderly conduct brings many an adventurer. A place chock full of magically binding chains.

1003 - City Armoury; The city militia helmet is very distinct, being very broad and with ornate metal blade-wings akin to those of the lady of pain. It's a great but Spartan and dire fortress. 1403 - Noble Mansions; Here the immensely inbred nobility of Sidʒil. Sleeping in beds adorned with iron spikes and with pillows of aasimar feathers. 1502 - Temple of the Abyss; A pantheon-temple to the demon gods and a portal to the plane. Soaring building of spikes. 1404 - Temple Street; All the lesser altars and temples are built about this region. 1505 - Devil Pacts Inc.; You get to go to a nice meal with a devil and it asks you to sell your soul for a price. If you grease the right taloned paw you get to get a writ allowing you to roam the Hellish Vestibule. 1105 - Vice and Sin; Fiend spot, where you can witness mortals flayed over tables and other such homely things. Not only devils attend it but also demodands, daemons, demons and slaads. Brawls in this tavern are legendary. 1705 - Golden Statue of a Bariaur Hero; He's said to have saved the city once upon a time, but no one really remembers how. 1303 - House of Resurrection; You come here to revive your dead with powerful magic. A brotherhood of white robed similarly minded individuals believing that immortality is the way for creatures to be, all should strive for it. A faction without proper backing. 1904 - Great Metroon of the All-Mother; Here, in an effort of that creepy unification of all religions cult the temple of Mother goddess was unified into this one great temple, where she appears in all her matriarchal forms to all petitioners. 1703 - Dwarven Idols; All the dwarf gods are hailed here, ancestor or not. Hewn of stone into crude judging visages. Seldom visited by petitioners. 1102 - Dark Pantheon of the Ice Elf; These seldom make it to the city, but when they do, they venerate in this great temple devoted to all the dark gods of theirs. And their historical heroes, each bloodier and more genocidal than the one before. 1506 - Fairy Goddess Sanctuary; Wizards and fay, if they happen to pop by, worship their mistress deity devoutly in these charmed halls. 1302 - Tower of the Ever-Djinn; Djinns and southlanders come here to bow before their sun god here. 1405 - Sidʒil Souvenirs Shop; A stand with a common human local selling figurines of the lady of pain and tankards, by no means a religious thing, a mere proof that you've made it to the city of doors, along with other mundane souvenirs. Brain rat caps and postcards. 1604 - Healers' Ward; A great palace of healing administered by female initiates of plenty denominations. All gathered under the universal church for the sake of mending of the body of those in the city, a universal goal appointed to all those capable of miraculous healing. 1504 - Barber Surgeon High Brow Locale; A place where noble dames come to get their huge beehive cuts done. You can buy wigs a plenty from all sorts of hair. The Hive; The city is bound with special spells that stop rogue portals from appearing about the city, the slums are too poor to afford such protection and they're the main source of rogue portals leading out of Sidʒil. It's easy to assemble a desperate militia from the local destitute. 510 - Tattoo Parlour; A peculiar Dabus tattoos peoples flesh in this house, flayed skin on the wall depicts his works. 614 - Magical Bakery; Here the magical baker is up to all sorts of nasty magically baked agenda. He's a human wizard. And he makes some crazy baked goods. He's insane. And evil but seldom few know it. He speaks in a scary voice and cackles a lot but he's very whimsical and wears chefs hat and apron so it throws people off. He has a host of tiny gingerbread homonculi helping him around the shop. He's the yeast necromancer. 715 - Portal to the Pit; A depressing part of the town, leading to a gloomy place. 815 - Abyssal Flavours; A fine fiend eatery, a sort of kebab shop but with human flesh. Human corpses spinning over flame. Very spicy meat. The humans are free range. 612 - Hidden Quarter; A talking stone head in a wall defends and entrance to a secret street of Sidʒil. 509 - Bawd Shacks; Here the mundane mortal lovely-ladies ply their ancient trade. Nasty pimps with canes in odd hats welcome all those seeking a good way to spend coin in meeting their friends. 511 - Supernatural Event Management House of Mystics; Here a body of mediums can summon a ghost from another plane or contact them or prepare all the necessary utensils for you to commune with a fallen. A kind of necro-sat, they are simply operators that conduct calls to different dimensions. They charge by word. 709 - Worker Hovels; Every morn a horde of labourers rises from the ramshackle huts to spew all over the Lower Ward's iron works and factories. 411 - The Mad Mill; A nasty crooked mill created by the mad gnomes, and powered by the screaming winds of the Pandemonium. It grinds grain to produce gruel for the local destitute. It's called so since seldom there's a miller in here that hasn't gone mad after a while. 514 - Lych God's Tower; Here the necromancers and undead worship the dark lord of undeath. The locals do not mind the smell of carrion that the temple censers spew, they got used to it, besides, it's the hive. 812 - Heart of the Hive; The Nihilists have their cove here. And the anarchists. The place has quite the daemons, devil and demon population as well as a tiefling one. 312 - The Madhouse; Hideout of the nihilistic terrorists of the Bleak Cabal. A former asylum before the Hive. It is run by the the barmies that went and rebelled and now no one wants to touch them as they got themselves armed. It contains the portal to the Pandemonium the key to it being a madman, it leads to the Cocytus' tavern of Styx ale. 610 - Mortuary; Here the morticians linger, interning the city dead in a giant crematorium, with a fat chimney spewing flakes of mortals over the city rooftops. The main mode of utilization are however portals, they hold a few through which they dump the bodies; plane of fire, Pandemonium where shriekers chew on their corpses (But few know about this dumping ground, chosen due to low efficiency of a single portal to the plane of fire) and few others. Dumping citizens of the city out into other planes for comfort of others, some might want to use these for their own benefit. Corpse collectors and butchers live around the mortuary working for it mostly. "Bring out yer dead!" You hear the folk call out. 311 - Pickpockets' Market; Selling goods stolen right off the streets at night, whatever you need 712 - Bubbers' Hole; A slum drinking spot for the local drunks and dregs. 609 - Old Lady's Shack; A witch without a disguise she sells dried razorvine bundles for firewood from her little nasty shack as a side hustle. Some weave it into baskets. 714 - City of Tiny Doors; Inhabited by the silfs, garden caps and other minuscule creatures. Tiny favelas. 512 - Slave Market; If one wishes to buy a servant, this is the right palce to go. Mostly clueless farmers plucked from the material plane but some extraplanar half-wits too. 813 - Charred Slum; This part of the Hive was damaged by an inflagration. An attempt at establishing elemental quarters. 611 - Planar City Sanitation Control Bureau; You can see a commoner with a club chasing a rat with an overgrown polyp-like brain sticking from its bone box, just to turn around and blast the rat catcher's head open with a psionic blast, leaving him mentally stunted for life. All the matters sanitary concerning the city are resolved in this place. 911 - Spot for the Throwing off of the Edge; Criminals throwing people off of the edge of the city. A huge hole blasted in-between the buildings which crumbled into the great darkness beyond. 713 - Burning Man Tavern; A tavern with a huge burning igneus at its heart. 913 - Yugguloth Mercenary Troop; Ultroloth lord dressed up as a common man wearing a huge cape and a hood sitting at a desk selling his company's services to the highest bidder in a shady dive, no matter where or when. Surrounded by horned mastiff headed humanoid scribes you treat on what type of units out of his disposable army you can employ and for what price. Spies, flying cavalry, common legions of ballista-fodder. 711 - Entrance to the Catacombs; Some of the city's rich and famous are buried in the town innards. 410 - Heart of the Razorvine; From here the city infestation progenates. Touching it deals 2d3 points of damage, falling into it 3d6, but each level of armour reduces it by 1, where plate makes you invulnerable to it. When fresh it doesn't burn very well. You find a statue overgrown with razorvine at the heart. A whole section of the hive claimed. Defended by cruel razorvine dryads. If you let a manitou run wil in here the city'd be in trouble. 412 - Interplanar Fighting Arena; Beasts of all planes are summoned to this arena to fight to the death. Angels and devils, demons and daemons, humans and gith duking it out for the gormless masses to enjoy. You can pay for your own spectacle or request a particular enemy to face you in combat. 710 - Undead Pub; Here the dead servitors pour you one out. 309 - Devil Sump of Ribcage; Portal to the Hells and violent favelas about it. You can hire great guides to hell here, as well as get papers to enter hell legally, you must grease some taloned hands but other than that a writ from one of the powers provides you with protection over that plane. You see a human woman her head wrapped in a scarf cradling a tucked babe, tis got tiny horns and a crimson skin "Can you help me find his faather? That good for nothing fiend is gone somewhere again, most likely drinking himself dead or whoring in that accursed brothel..." 310 - Street of Rogue Portals; This alley is infamous for the amount of wild portals appearing about it. A huge sprawl of the hive slum. 810 - Mean Street Skid Row; Here gangs of thugs mock about, fighting their little wars over who gets to extort money from the lightboys. You can find them shaking one out of coin up side-down by his leg. The coins have the lady of pain on them 811 - Butchers' Street; Here fat carcasses of the city beasts are hewn and parcelled to be lazily teleported to the market square through the nice local vista known as the "Blood-gore pit of viscera" 912 - Taxidermy Shop; A loony necromancer of the Moribund faction runs the place. 513 - Slaad Tadpole Pools; The slaad in the city are subject to the laws, they pay any willing townsfolk or citizens to act as the hosts to their tadpoles to be later brought back with magical scrolls for which they're reimbursed. 814 - Slums; You see a dabus place a wooden sign in the ground telepathically next to this unwholesome ruin, the rebus upon it says "Scheduled for demolition". 613 - Portal to Limbo; Great chunks of the city float around the portal. Energies crackle and tourists from the plane stream out once in a while Githzeray and Slaad alike. 708 - The Ditch; A dumping ground of refuse in a huge ditch in the city, both dumped from the Lower Ward and the Hive. Corpses of those found in the streets are dumped down here. The place is swarming with rat nests. Lower Ward; Grimy warehouses, smoky mills, workshops of all sizes. The air is polluted with smoke, steam and cinders. This is where the city smog comes from. The locals look very sickly from all the vapours. 407 - Chicken Folk Pie Making Grounds; A huge farm of aaracocra turned poultry plump flesh meat creatures. They are turned into chicken-man pies. And live in these giant industrial hellish coops. 507 - Rune Pillar Carver's Workshop; Here magical masons contain magic in stone. Creating powerful spell stones and wards. 406 - Workshop of Celestial Machinery; Here various Mechanus devises and peculiar mechanised artefacts are tended to by cleric-artificers. 306 - Entrance to Mechanus; An artefact gate into the realm of laws of reality, it seems to be missing a few gears. Somone has apparently broken it on purpose. 308 - Gnomish Borough; Few historians of the city know the reason for such a great immigration pull for the gnomes to the city of doors. Here is where most of them build their homesteads about. A fully gnomish neighbourhood. A series of very racist laws won with the city council allows the gnomes to racially profile their neighbourhoods. A walkout in a gnomish factory would neutralize the city, so concessions are in order. 806 - Magical Luthier's Workshop; Finest quality instruments, enchanted ones as well. Peddled from this small but nice shop. An old Caucasoid human male runs it. 805 - Perpetuum Mobile; One of those ingenious gnome inventions, a giant adamantine waterwheel placed between two portals to the elemental plane of water, one pouring highly pressurised water out, another sucking it back it. However, the poor buggers, haven't yet figured out what use to make of it. 904- Oozes & Goo; You can buy all sorts of oozes and goo known in the universe in this shop. All material plane along with planar oozes and goo. Huge jars of the stuff. 505 - Ioun Pebble Shop; Gnome jeweller mages peddle these latest magical fashion trend to the wizards seeking their power, these orb pebble gems float around those who attune to them and allow them to use their power, usually a particular spell indefinitely, some stop you from needing to drink, some extract your soul upon death to ensure you won't be sucked into one of the planes as a petitioner, some give you the power to float, etc. Very expensive and very powerful. 603 - Rothé Processing and Partitioning Plant; The meat of the beasts is hewn apart and magically frozen for further utilization. 606 - Rock of Atheism; This rock is the cause of the Atheist movement many claim. They insist that no god is powerful enough to lift this rock, since none of the gods are allowed into the city, which proves somehow they are not true gods. So far all the mortals whom tried to lift it failed. So thus gods are presumed to be unable to do it either. 607 - Draw Bridge over the Ditch; Another marvel of gnomish engineering, seemingly all the more advanced contraptions are a creation of this marvellous tinkering demonoloatric race. 703 - Disenchanter; A powerful magical tool, used for breaking artefacts and magical objects. Looks like a giant hammer. Operated by dwarves and human mages. It also stores the magical residue energies for further use. 705 - Great Foundry; A temple of those hippy orientalist culty creeps chatter about reincarnation and the ascension and all the sorts of crap. It is also the centre of the city industry and the heart of the Lower Ward. Entire boxes of ironworks. Filled with gnomish machinery. 509 - Shattered Temple; A ruined temple of a dead God in which the faction of atheists resides. 802 - Wizard Forgemaster; He makes custom magical items for a great payment with his workshop of a dozen helpers and apprentice wizards. 906. - Portal Makers Workshop; These wizards and specialists are very eager to build a very expensive and magically dangerous pathway between your chosen plane and reality. With prices ranging depending on the type of portal, one or two way one. (Two way portals also need to warm up before you can hop back and forth) As well as Sidʒil home security specializing in neutralizing rogue portals appearing throughout the city. 504 - Flame Pit; Eefreet conflagration, a pub in which they sit for coin and comfort, sure no mortals will bother them. Built behind a great smelter, using its flame to fill the place with the pleasant smouldering cinder and flame. 1005 - Dwarf Quarter; The dwarfs ply their trade here, amongst them the mad banished smith of magical artefacts has his workshop here. 604- Triumphal Forge; Dwarven forge specializing in creating ornamental mundane armour for triumphs and good looks. Damascend and gilded. 704 - Building Material Stockpiles; Here you can buy heaven marble, hell pit stones and lumber of Abrorea. Used for building new homes in Sidʒil. Brought in bulk from other planes. 608 - Landlord Tenements; You can pay a local to rent a house in the city, better accommodation for a lower price. 506 - Gnome Workshop; These vile violent demon worshippers create the complicated industrial contraptions of the Lower Ward. You can hire them for to create something for you. Be it elevator or ballista, they'e got you covered. 907 - Gate to Carceri; A mini prison of its own. Demodands keep the locals inside the wall of stone overgrown with razorvine, using the locals as militia to help them from stopping people from leaving their neighbourhood. They take it a point of pride not to let anyone in or out. And a portal gate to the plane of elemental containment. 608 - Sewer Entrance; Here the river of filth sprouts from the ground and rats roam in great host. 405 - Alchemist Inc.; Selling potions, identifying elixirs and providing people with steady supply of magical potions of all sorts. Noxious fumes spew from this place, they are capable of trully messing a fellow up. "They're dumping this stuff into the sewers, can you believe it!?" 804 - Mundane Smithy; Weapons of the most basic steel. What a crude way to do war. But alas, the city still sports quite the population of banal people, who think that sticking someone in the ribs with a dagger is the correct way of going about killing them. 707 - Giant's Equal Rights Bureau; The activists, half-giants mostly, ask so that the portals and the streets of Sidʒil are built bigger as to accommodate the greater races. "All portals are made so as to accommodate tiny, small, medium and large beings, non conform to the giant standard! And why are the giants to be deprived of the pleasures of this city and interplanar community it provides! Especially considering other forms of planar transport are not allowed into the city" 905 - Magical Pawnshop; Heroic prime types often come down here to pawn their magical artefacts to have enough for a journey home or for an ale at the local bubbers' drinking hole. 706 - Workshops and Artisans' Street; Potters, masons, brewers and all the minor businesses just waiting to be crushed by the great industry. 803 - Interplanar Stout Brewery; Huge vats of ale producing varied flavours are stirred by the dwarf and human labourers, producing the staple drink of the city. Extensive use of portals ensures a brand recognition and top notch delivery. 902 - Sawmill; Here the various hardwoods of plenty planes are hewn, smoothed and turned into planks and beams for use in the city. Huge magical machines of the gnomes hew them with fat spinning blades. 508 - Glass-blowers Furnace; Molten into fine shapes for the windows and stained-glass for the temples. 307 - Smelter Foundries; Here the smelting furnaces are built by the gnome, capable of melting adamantine, steel, genasium, paladinium, green Baator ore and all the various fantastical metals. They must be commissioned first. 1004 - Jewellers' Workshops; Grinding down the great crystals, salts and fine gems of the planes. Gnomes hard at work with their huge magical grinders.  1002 - Leather Workers' Stench Grounds; Here the beasts are turned into lovely tight leather armours for maidens and bachelor heroes. Also dyers have their colourful pits here. 807 -  Mason Work Grounds; Here the marbles and stones and rocks of various planes are shaped into bricks. The place is guarded by elaborately carved stone elementals which double as adverts. 408 - Seamstress' Guild and Weaving Houses; Here clothing is weaved. Women folk sit overseeing the huge weaving machines, binding the fleece of various beings. 903 - Siege Weapon Workshop; Fine stone throwers and huge balistas are created here by the local artisans. 24 LOCATIONS Market Ward; All plane walking beings mingle here, trying to buy whatever they seek.

1909 - Fantasy Sports Arena; Sidʒil's favourite sport is played here, whimsical and brutal, each of the wards has its own team. There's also a golf course nearby. 2107 - Street Performer Square; All sorts of odd acts are being played before people, interdimentional comedians, dramatists and crowd workers, story tellers and bards. You see a hippy islander elf with his array of colourful flower adorned banners and pendants singing about peace and love playing on an elven mandolin. 1704 - Devotional Marketplace; All sorts of religious pendants, statuettes, prayer beads and rolls are available here. Bunch of devotional zealous kitsch of gods new and old. 1905 - Mundane Weapon Peddler; Here the local material plane dweller sells heaps of boring mundane steel weapons of war. Crossbows, bows and other such. Barrels worth of the stuff. Used to reconcile the neighbourly Sidʒil troubles. 2005 - Halfling Bakery; Here the puny lightfoots produce great quanitties of baked goods to provide to the ever hungry population. 2007 - Magic Component Shop; Run by a wizard, it provides you with all your spell casting needs. They have hopes of branching out. Novice female wizard staff is very pleasant and helpful. 2108 - The Magical Cobbler; Here the party appears for the first time, in a rogue portal through which one passes with a broken shoe. A gnomish establishment. All sorts of magical shoes to buy and browse. 1607 - Mercane Shop; The odd blue creatures sell their spelljammer parts in the city. The Lady doesn't like flying traffic so they're not allowed to use their ships, but you can buy a spelljammer helm no issue, along with siege weapons, they will even deliver it to your plane of choice for a small fee. 1806 - Street Food Vendors; Here you get to taste some of the local street fare. Beyond roasted cranium rat brains, you get hellish goods like the fruits of the forest of suicide or the golden pears of heaven glazed in honey from the fields of happy hunting. 1906 - Merc Inn; Here you can hire more mundane and less numerous mercenaries, armour bound heroes and fiends. Mostly those of the Free League. 1907 - Grand Bazaar; The so called "free-thinkers" tend to congregate about this place. It is a neutral grounds where the philosophical and idealogical battles are not fought. 1908 - Inter Planar Eatery;  Inn and tavern with delicacies from all over the planes. Roasted exotic animals on platters, often peculiar ones 2005- Wet Market; Here beasts of all planes and settings are sold in cages; abyssal chickens, cherubs, winged swine, howlers of Pandemonnium and Silt Sea psionic bug monsters and much, much more...  1807 - Skeleton Keys; Powerful rune stones to use spells in planes abroad, spell keys and power stones. They also offer gate keys for most of the known portals around the city for a price. The owner is a skeletal lych. He also sells some basic portal maps. 1709 - Houses for Sale; Expensive but worth it. Your realtor is a devil. 1606 - Tourist Trap Inn; Here the prime berks get squeezed out of coin for accommodation and guides. 1707 - Magical Sword Peddler; You can get an awesome heroic +1 sword which works great on every plane. For mere pittance. They're a massed produced weapon with the City of Doors inscription. 1507 - City Stables; The few mounts that make it into the city are stored in a communal stable, pegasi, nightmares and unicorns, occasionally going on a rampage through the streets escaping the clumsy grooms. 2006 - Odd Clock Tower; A magical device, peculiar in appearance was built by the local gnomes. It shows the time despite not having numbers to tell the hour, only the peak and anti-peak. 1805 - Adventurer's Cartography Shop; Here you can get maps detailing locations all over the planes; a nice map of the real world, the city of doors or even a human skin map of the first layer of hell, with mad scribbled notes, it's all down here to get for the right price, you can even commission a map of your own! 2106 - Baator Blades; The green ore blades of Baator are sold here from a piled heap by a half-witted azer. 1705 - The Great Library; A magical bookshop, a chain book shop filled with wizards defending its huge walls of text, letters and books of old, they can identify everything. With a demon orangutang librarian. 1708 - Great Mare Statue; The goddess of the equestrian races, depicted as a rearing unicorn in this statue. 1808 - Interplanar Travel Utensils and Artefacts; Here the great monopoly of the city's show, all the magical artefacts connected to interplanar communication can be acquired here for a price. Guildhall Ward; A place of congregation of the grand interplanar guilds of the city. 1913 - Whirwind of Eternal Fall; A dust devil sucking up all that fly into it. Those sucked up into it end up in the Great Fall. Or the elemental plane of air. 1813 - Brain Emporium; Here you can buy all manner of brains, preserved in special jars and containers. Still capable of thought. The peddler is a huge brain-collector. He's more of a hobbyist than anything. 1614 - Employment Office; Here those adventurers seeking poorly paying jobs and those seeking the labour of dregs come. Killing cranium rats and squatter mefits vandalising tenaments of enterprising Sidʒil townsmen. 1611 - Thieves' Guildhall; Here the rogues and thieves of the city can talk over the rules, the pickpocketing limits and who gets targeted when, as well as possible prevention of rogue rogues running in the city. 1512 - Flesh Sculpting Workshop; Here in a cellar, for a proper payment, a terrible Obyrith shall mold and sculpt flesh to your whim and desire. Trapped by a bunch of deranged cultists. A form of very intrusive plastic surgery, that can also affect your mind and soul. 2110 - Skull Peddler; A nasty demon entity sells skulls from a pile of skulls, it only accepts other skulls for the ones it has. These skulls are thoroughly mundane, if belonging to varied races but mostly mezzocephalic humans. 1814 - Guild of Advertisers; Here a grand bunch of posted notices are hung up upon walls and notice boards. Inside you can hire a bunch of professionals to spread about your advertisement throughout the multiverse. 2111 - Intraplanar Circus; Beasts of all planes do tricks in colourful cages. Astral sea clowns, wolf-boys, dancing skeletons, jester goblins doing minstrel shows and other such attractions. With a real holiphant. To stun the tourists not necessarily the locals, plenty of other colourful attractions to be had. 1809 - City Palanquinists' Head Quarters; Here all the carriers of folk are gathered. An ancient and respectable guild. 1811 - Razorvine Gardeners Guild; Tending to the wall growths of the patrician houses. Plate armour and sheers their uniform. 1711 - Great Gymnasium; Training spots, but also baths and massage parlours. The place has a strong anit-magic wards weaved all over it so wizards can get bullied in here if they piss off a prime world barbarian. 1810 - Well Leading to the Elemental Plane of Water; This is the city's main tenement well, they sometimes fish out a pirate skull or a little water elemental but they don't mind. It is a whole cistern constantly moving water out from the plane and storing it for the mortal city residents. Here the Sidʒil  Fire Brigade has its headquarters. 1712 - Stoa of Philosophy; Here the various faction members gather to discuss philosophy and play some soft strategy games. Those willing might want to start their own faction here. 1910 - Council of Sidʒil Innkeepers; Here all the innkeepers gather to talk ale prices and other such matters. 1716 - Promotional Company; You pay them to get something famous, they hire out urchins of the Hive to spread the word with boards with the info of your choice, that or zombies. They are in conflcit with the Guild of Advertisers and are their direct competition. 1511 - Tour Guide Stronghold; Here the professional tour guides of the city congregate, no matter their faction affiliation. The place is a stout fortress. 2009 - Tower of Babble; A catalogue of translators works from here, you need a text translated or a person to act at your side translating a particular language? No problem, they've got it. They also sell appropriate artefacts and spells necessary to translate tongues. The place is run by an angel. 2010 - Jester Palace; Here all the city jesters, joke tellers and clowns organize their guild from. With public stand-up competitions held daily. 2112 - Bariaur Quarters; Here the peculiar and quite multitudinous race prospers in the city. 2012 - Great Beholder Mansion; Even creatures as vile, do hold a place in the city, you can see him angrily floating through the markets at times, as the city denizens run away from him intently, as he hovers menacingly. 1911 - Overrun Park; With a pagoda of Sylvanus this place is overrun with tents and improvised dwellings of the adventuring types. Clueless prime berks if you ask the locals. 1610 - Tours of Gehenna; The abandoned and desolate plane of floating volcanoes and sheer surfaces of flame glass is a prime place for a little bit of cardio. Getting to see some of the local fauna, twisted and yelping demons and wayward souls. The factotums responsible charge quite the sum for you to use their portal to the plane, and demand they send one of their guides with you. Bunch of prime real estate! 1912 - Mind Flayer Euthanasia Clinic; A mansion owned by the illithid and overgrown with their odd biomass, they seek out those willing to voluntarily would like to undergo ceremorphosis. 916 - Heroic Museum; Greatest of greats are commemorated and the artefacts of their exploits are held and displayed for the locals to gawk at them in awe. "Currently closed" Says a board hung outside. 1612 - Interplanar Stock Exchange; Various investments and procurements of goods from other planes are made here. 1812 - Great Adventuring Tavern; Its innards hold plenty of portals all over the plains, adventuring types congregate here, selling their loot, buying beer and telling of their exploits. 1914 - House of the Guiding Light; A shop of light utensils, magical lanterns, and candles run by an angel. 1713 - Auction House of Magical Artefacts; All the pawned artefacts of great value and fine art goes through this hall. 2109 - Sidʒil Times Printing House; Producing the only newsletter and gazetter in the city. Informing the denizenry of new laws, events and situation around the city wards. 2011 - Milliner's House; Hatters house, you can get a lovely nice sweet lil' 'at. 1710 - Talking Skull Shop Repair and Service; You can buy your own, or upgrade your own or do some such thing, a wizard sells talking skulls which act as a form of encyclopaedia. If they're damaged, cursed or destroyed you can get them fixed here. These do not work outside of the Planes, in the material world they break and simply talk gibberish. They can learn any fact or idea and replay it later, those acquired are instilled knowledge you pay for like; Guide to the city, Lower Planes, Personalities etc. Also one of his skulls gone rogue and he wants you to find it for him, as it's for a client. Clerk's Ward; Bureaucrats scribes, sages and scholars run the city from here. Plenty of upper-plane beings and planar humans roam this ward. It is the safest ward in the city. Easy going moneylenders, importers and other who seek peaceful life in the city. 1615 - Earthen Pit; A pot of boiling mud, it leads to the elemental plane of earth. There are kiosks about, providing you with wards and spells to traverse the plane. There are mud mephits and other woeful entities trying to peddle gems for cheap around it but militia usually banishes them back. 1515 - Central Heating Vent; It leads to the elemental plane of fire. You can sometimes see dregs warming their fingerless glove wearing fingers over the vent, or roasting cranium rats. 1715 - Ministry of Waste Management; In a city-state where all the rubbish and refuse, instead of being discarded into some midden far away from the city must be banished, and seldom things come cheap, this office maintains the balance of goods and recycling so that the city does not fall apart. It has to be a perfect circle of supply; the vermin management office produces dead cranium rats, dead cranium rats are supplied to the local butchers whom then sell them in the hive to the destitute to prevent hunger riots, entities of Mechanus would be proud of their efficiency. 1415 - City Granary; In case of some peculiar disaster or malfunction in the rules making the doors in the city of doors prosper, great underground silos store grain to feed the population of the city. Brought from real world, magically sealed and preserved. 1513 - Banquo Vaults; Apparently, the pesky merchants of the prime material plane made it even into the city of doors. Their vaults filled with all manner of coin, and their Sidʒil branch mostly hiring outer plane dwellers. 1212 - Hall of Records; The Heartless Takers, city oligarchs make records of all important things owned around the city. As well as lead their violent taxation campaign all over the city. A big queue of various planars and primes lines to this building, you stand behind a fiend and there's an angel behind you. 1313 - City Exchequer; Overseen by the oligarchs. It also doubles as the city mint. Adjecent to the Hall of Records. Stacks of coins with the lady of pain on them, but also Juiblex and other archfiends, mortal emperors and kings, bonds, notes, gems and jewels. 1213 - Great Merchant Princes' Estates; Littering a single street, the greatest merchants of the city have their mansions here. 1214 - Hall of Speakers; Here the Signers reside. And spew their solipsistic nonsense. Also this is where the senators meet to speak on the matter of the city. And the unbiased militia ensures that every faction has a say in the matter of governance. 1012 - City Council; It consists of five senators from each of the boroughs. They vote on the rules of the city. 1414 - Civic Festhall; Here the Aedil of the city revels, preparing all the city games and entertainments. 1114 - Halfling Drinking Burrow; The short disgusting creatures can't go a day without their rancid puke tasting cider, they get their fix here, in a nasty pub serving to their sensibilities and reminding them of their homeland's rustic aesthetic. 1613 - Hall of Concordance; An embassy of law, place where angels of Mechanus can ensure your treaty or pact to be fully enacted. Make an absolute sure the agreement goes through. Making it inevitable. They do it out of sense of duty. 1113 - Githyanki Mercenary Company; A githyanki spelljammer for hire out in the Astral Sea. Mercenary Githyanki boat archers on a spelljammer can be hired here. 1116 - Stairway to Heaven; "Here you can taste a little bit of heaven" Inn run by an angel for good aligned beings and einherier. 1015 - Gith District; A lot of Gith on Gith violence as you may predict. Done in gang clashes with slender chaos-matter blades. 1413 - Bariaur Stable-Tavern; The crude race frequents this place, as a sleeping spot and a drinking place where you can lock horns with fellow barriaurs. 1013 - Tea House; An elf place of drinking. 1516 - North Burg; Here the portal to the big tree stands. A huge runic thing hewed of stone blocks and timber. Surrounded by steep roofed long houses despite the fact that it never snows in the city of doors. 1014 - Debtor Cages; Here the debtors are displayed by the city Oligarchs to show off their power. 1314 - Great Temple of the Goddess of Freedom; Trully and devoutly worshipped by the people of the city. Some worry that the Lady will think it's her who they worship in the guise of Hurriya. 1115 - Public Forum; Folk speak their mind over matters here, overseen by members one of the factions. Any citizen can speak their mind here. 1412 - Astral Pub; Here the spelljammer captains get to relax in the space grog and winged pig crackling tavern as their subordinates busy selling their astral booty off for supplies and weapons. Githyanki and humans alike. Spelljammers in bottles (Actual shrunk spelljammers). 1315 - Archie's House of Ribs; A Silt Sea native with a big smile provides the local clerks with smoked ribs famous throughout the City of Doors. Simple use of mostly Rothé and mutton makes some uppity Lady's Ward types consider it a basic and working class joint.

1316 - Fish Wife Alehouse; Here beauteous mermaids dance erotic fishy dances in aquariums all around the drinkers, a place frequented by marids and all water-themed beings. The ale is thin though. 915 - Postal Office; There's a surprisingly spry postal service working between planes in the city of doors. Their postmen are a fearless lot. 914 - Advocate's Office; You can get an advocate to represent you, provide you with a legacy paper, or allow you to apply for citizenship in the city if you so desire. 1514 - Fantasy Dentist; Here the Shadenfell tooth fairies extract teeth from human and non-human skulls and pay YOU! 1215 - Ice Mephit Ice Cream Parlour; They give mortals brain freeze for the glory of the lady of frost.